Everything happens for a reason.
So stop complaining and enjoy it.
So sexually frustrated, I feel like I’m gonna explode. No time to myself here in the homeland. Always a cousin, aunt, or uncle wherever I turn and there’s even worse Internet connection.
I’m just sayin, girl’s got needs too.
The struggle is too real.
I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t always force things. I preach “everything happens for a reason” and I say I believe in kismet, but deep down I’m impatient, I’m too selfish. I push and pull and mold things to the way I want them to be, ignoring the fact that maybe that’s not how it’s meant to play out.
I need to learn to let things play out. I need to stop pushing. But where’s the balance? How do I know when to enjoy the show or when to create what I want to see?
Hey you! Yes, you-you. If you’re reading this, I hope you know you’re the one I’m speaking to—you. YOU.
Yeah I’m bored. The above could really apply to anyone… Wow you would think that being deprived of internet connection should get me excited to spill my heart out online. A sign of growth? Or maybe I’m just getting boring.
Anyway… hopefully I’ll be able to upload pictures soon.
I miss you, centralized air condition. I miss you, perfect-weather-SD. I miss you, Nova. I miss you, Roomies. I miss you, cigarettes. I miss you, YOU. Yes, you-you.
Day three here in the motherland. We who take central air conditioning for granted get a smoldering slap in the face. It’s so hot, I feel like my hair is melting off. Maybe this is what the inside of Mordor feels like, or that volcano that Spock froze. All the sweatiness aside, I’m glad I’m back.
The PI always has a way of making me appreciate things.. Third world countries tend to do that I guess. Anyway, more to rant about later. Until next time.
Well that’s a first.
I guess it helps get my priorities in check a bit. Brings to light something I’ve known for a long time now. Still stings though. Not in that small burst of pain after stubbing your toe. But that paper cut kind of pain. You know it’s there, and yet everything just wants to seep into that tiny little fucker and make things worse.
Until one day, it just disappears. That pain just goes away, as if it wasn’t even there in the first place.
Just gotta keep repeating it to myself: I am beautiful. I am amazing. I am skinny. I am awesome. I am alive. I am perfect. I am, I am, I am.
Reblog if you like random camels.
Just chillin with the homedawg.
I haven’t been on here in a while…
Can’t be sure if it’s because my creativity started to decay or whether writing just didn’t have the same appeal anymore or maybe, just maybe, I thought myself strong enough to be without the distraction. Regardless, I need to relapse back into this poor excuse for an outlet.
Right now, I’m sinking back to the dark pit of lifetime “lows”. Over time I’ve filled this pit with bitter memories better left unsaid. Diligently, I tried to avoid adding to the tar. But right now… Right now I just can’t seem to help it. Fuck up after fuck up after fuck up. Folding post-it failures and chucking them into this pit, causing it to overflow. It’s pathetic. I need to fly back out again. Maybe, hopefully, this time I’ll find a way to stay up.
And even in weakness, there’s a silver lining. Let me find my words again.